A MICROSOFT CHRISTMAS
author unknown
art..."Midnight Santa" by Sharon Jagger
*
Twas the night before Christmas,when all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring,except Papa's mouse.
*
The computer was humming,the icons were hopping,
As Papa did last-minute Internet shopping.
*
The stockings were hung by the modem with care,
In hope that St. Nick would bring new software.
*
The children were nestled...all snug in their beds,
While visions of computer games danced in their heads.
*
PageMaker for Billy, and Quicken for Dan,
And Carmen Sandiego for Pamela Ann.
*
The letters to Santa had been sent out by Mom,
To santaclaus@toyshop.northpole.com,
*
Which has now been re-routed to Washington State
Because Santa's workshop has been bought by Bill Gates.
*
All the elves and reindeer have had to skedaddle
To flashy new quarters in suburban Seattle.
*
After centuries of a life that was simple and spare,
St. Nicholas is suddenly a new billionaire,
*
With a shiny red Porsche in the place of his sleigh,
And a house on Lake Washington that's just down the way
*
From where Bill has his mansion, The old fellow preens
In black Gucci boots and red Calvin Klein jeans.
*
the elves have stock options and desks with a view
Where they write computer code for Johnny and Sue.
*
No more dolls or toy soldiers or little toy drums
Will be under the tree, only compact disk ROMS.
*
With the Microsoft label. So spin up your drive,
From now on Christmas runs on Win95.
*
More rapid than eagles the competitors came,
And Bill whistled, and shouted, and called them by name.
*
Now ADOBE! now CLARIS! now INTUIT! too.
Now APPLE! and NETSCAPE! You are all through.
*
It is Microsoft's SANTA that the kids can't resist
It's the ultimate software with a traditional twist!
*
Recommended by no less than the jolly old elf,
And on the package, a picture of Santa himself.
*
Get 'em young, keep 'em long, is Microsoft's scheme,
And a merger with Santa is a marketer's dream.
*
To the top of the NASDAQ! to the top of the Dow!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away - WOW!
*
And Mama in her 'kerchief and I in my cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap,
*
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
The whir and the hum of our satellite platter,
*
As it turned toward that new Christmas star in the sky,
The SANTALITE owned by the Microsoft guy.
*
As I sprang from my bed and was turning around,
My computer turned on with a Jingle-Bells sound.
*
And there on the screen was a smiling Bill Gates
Next to jolly old Santa, two arm-in-arm mates.
*
And I heard them exclaim in voices so bright,
"Have a MICROSOFT CHRISTMAS,
And TO ALL A GOODNIGHT!"
